Las Caletas

Not knowing of any better alternatives, we took another tour today, this one to Las Caletas, which first gained notoriety by famed Hollywood director John Huston living there. Huston's son Danny, who I met and talked to at Sundance a few years ago, was married at Caletas. In fact, Huston's decision to shoot Night of the Iguana in Puerto Vallarta in 1963 was the spark that eventual led to making it a resort community.

So we headed to the marina first thing in the morning and caught a catamaran headed for the ancient Greek Isle of Lesbos, or so it seemed, since the boat (and Las Caletas tour) were dominated by passengers off the Olivia cruise ship. Olivia is billed as "The premiere travel and entertainment company for Lesbians," although I wonder how many other lesbian travel and entertainment companies they had to beat out for that honor. And if this was the premier group, I'd hate to see the cattle cars, because there were some pretty scrappy looking women there.

It did make for some awkward moments on the boat, where the crew employed their standard routines, which included couples' contests. There were three which competed in a pop-the-balloon game, and the only "traditional" couple came in a distant last. Based on this limited sample, I would be concerned about the relative fate of the heterosexual species, except of course for our unique ability to procreate.

Moving on, Las Caletas was quite enchanting, like a tropical paradise, and we snorkeled and swam and I found a quiet place away from all the women and laid on the beach reading while Rebecca got a massage. And we ate well once again then back on the catamarran and to Puerto Vallarta. Finally got to the beach outside our hotel where we lounged and read and then had dinner and spent a quiet evening watching the Sox crush the Rockies in Game One of the World Series.

OK, I confess that while at Las Caleta the knave in me considered gathering the straights to challenge the Olivians to beach games, like Red Rover, or chicken fights. I just wanted to see how we'd do. But it seemed like an awkward thing to get started and some of these women were very large plus I feared that it could start something of a race war, so like many of my terrible ideas, I wisely let this one pass privately, but found the notion quite amusing as it danced around in my head.