Sam had recently heard about the book Leadership and Self-Deception, so for his "summer school" I assigned it to him to read. I hadn't read it either, although I was quite familiar with the concepts from our Anasazi experience, and also from Terry Warner's The Bonds that Make us Free. Nevertheless, I decided to read it, to brush up on the concepts.
Ouch. It all came back to me quickly and with penetrating conviction. The Box. I spend so much time in The Box. What is that, you ask? It's a psychological barrier we put around ourselves to justify the fact that we aren't seeing or treating others as people, just as important as we are. Rather, we treat them as objects, things of utility either to help us meet our needs and desires, or barriers that must be dealt with. When we're "in the box" we lie to ourselves to justify our behavior. We rationalize. Yep, that's been me; lots of times. Every day, in fact.
But it's not only our behavior, because in the world of business I've learned to manage much of that. Our attitudes are the thing. Even when we smile and manage problems according to the book, if we don't really see others as people, every bit as important as we are, then we are in the box, and all the textbook problem management skills are a cover-up and a manipulation. Over the years I have become convinced that whenever I find myself rationalizing my behavior, mentally justifying my actions, I am in the wrong and I know it. I am once again practicing the tragic art of self-betrayal.
When I first learned about the teachings of the Arbinger Institute I thought they were the most profound and moving principles I had ever encountered. And in truth, some have stayed with me ever since--disciplines and attitudes that I practice on an almost daily basis. But so many others I had lost track of, and as I read Leadership and Self-Deception I was kicking myself for not remembering it all, as if I had lost some years of my life when I should have been a better person. I again committed to be more diligent.
Leadership and Self-Deception is a quick read but one with overwhelming power and relevancy to everyone. I just put it on my calendar to reread annually. Highly recommended.
Just read a blog post (Ben Casnocha)
ReplyDeletehttp://ben.casnocha.com/2007/07/three-things-to.html
Opinion is really the lowest form of human knowledge; it requires no accountability, no understanding. The highest form of knowledge, according to George Eliot, is empathy, for it requires us to suspend our egos and live in another’s world. It requires profound, purpose‐larger‐than‐the‐self kind of understanding.
I loved the idea that the highest form of intellect is to 'get outside our box' and understand others perspetives
L & SD is one of the most powerful books I've ever read. Bonds is a good prequel to it, I think. I think an annual read is probably a good idea. I fear that I've slipped far from the commitment I made to escape the box when I first encountered the ideas.
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