Prison Time

Today I visited the Utah State Prison in Draper, going with my friend Barry, who has been helping there for seven years. There were a dozen or so volunteers that joined us, almost all of them weekly regulars, holding church services for two groups of inmates--a "Diagnostic" group and one composed of sexual predators.

Barry tells me that some people get uncomfortable in the environment, but I didn't feel awkward at all. The Diagnostic group was first, dressed in orange jumpsuits. These men are in a holding pattern for a maximum of 90 days, generally waiting to be sentenced. For some of them, it's their first time in prison, and a period of great anxiety as their life crumbles before them. They are in for crimes of all sorts, such as murder, armed robbery, rape and tax evasion.

The second group was composed entirely of sexual predators, which have to be separated from the other inmates for their own protection. (Apparently, they are at the bottom of the prison pecking order, with murderers being at the top.) There was a look to some of these men that is unique and a little eerie at first. I have seen it before, in a friend I met a few years ago who was a sex addict. And I saw it in a few others when I attended a 12-step class with him one time. But after a few minutes, I was able to get past that, and look at these men with no judgmental feelings.

These are men who have been brought down by the consequences of their decisions. They have been humbled, doing time for years or even decades. What esteem they may have once had is hanging by a thread. It was good to be there with them and shake their hands and say a few words. I felt like my smile and handshake did more good today than a year's worth of normal Sunday services. And as I looked each one in the eye, I could with all honesty grab their hands, smile and tell them how glad I was to be with them today.

For nearly all of these men, the first step in their downfall was pornography, which is an insidious and all too accessible evil. Now not everyone that falls prey to pornography becomes a sexual predator; like not everyone that uses drugs becomes an addict. But some do, and it's hard to tell where your personal path will lead when that first step is taken. For these men, it led to a destruction of their lives, and most had lost their families, their jobs, their reputations and nearly all their hope.

The notions of repentance and forgiveness, which many of us think about abstractly, take on profound importance in their lives. And the gentle, spiritual feelings of love and acceptance are sought after and cherished.

The branch choir sang Come Come Ye Saints, I suppose in honor of Pioneer Day this week. And I wondered what was passing through their minds as they sang the words:

Why should we mourn or think our lot is hard?
'Tis not so; all is right.
... Gird up your loins; fresh courage take;
Our God will never us forsake;
And soon we'll have this tale to tell-
All is well! all is well!

As the doors locked shut behind me, I felt enriched by the experience. I'm grateful so many inmates came out, and that I had a chance to join them today. In fact, I can't think of a better way to spend a Sunday.